Emma, this story is just for you. I have to write it now so that I won't forget it because it is very important. You have always been a very picky eater, my love. It's not your fault, or mine. You just don't like many foods. When your older brother and sisters were young, I thought that parents of picky eaters were simply not giving them enough of a variety of foods to try (that is called being judgemental, by the way... not a very nice thing to do). When you came along, you taught me to have empathy for all the other parents in the world with picky little eaters. You see, I offered you the same variety of foods that I offered your older siblings. The difference is, they liked most of those foods and you don't like most of those foods.

But here is why this story is very important for you to hear. You are 3 1/2 years old right now and you absolutely LOVE grilled cheese sandwiches. You ask for them almost daily and your eyes light up if I tell you I'm making one for you for lunch. But, the first time I offered you a grilled cheese sandwich, before you had ever tried one, you ran from me, crying with both of your hands clamped over your mouth, insisting that you did NOT like them. It took quite a bit of coaxing on my part to get you to agree to take one tiny nibble of a taste. You reluctantly bit the corner off of the sandwich, and then your eyes brightened. "Mmmm!" you told me. And you have never looked back.

So sweetness, while there may never be a food in this world that you like more than grilled cheese sandwiches, I am completely certain that there are foods in this world that you will like almost as much. You simply have to keep trying new things. If you try something and really don't like it, I will always try to be reasonable about not making you eat it. But, you will be missing out on some very delicious food if you won't simply try them.

Time again

Wow, it's officially been a full year since I last blogged. What on earth happened to the time? My baby is not so much of a baby any longer. She's practically grown up - or so she thinks. Emma has decided that the world is hers and all within it are being allowed to share all of her things. Every time we see Mt. Hood, she shouts out: "my mountain!!" She refers to Disneyland as hers as well. She is sharing it with everyone - isn't she generous. One of my favorite Disney moments was when I was pushing her along in the stroller near the castle and she saw all the people wandering in and out of it. She looked at me and said: "my people are in my castle!" I loved that.

Emma has become very articulate, but I still don't always know what she is talking about. This morning she told me that she wants to watch something slowly. Hmmm.... what? She wanted to watch one of her shows (Little Bear) while she ate breakfast. But she wanted to watch it slowly. I don't know what that means, and I told her so. She just shrugged it off. This sort of thing happens all the time. She also recently asked me where her "beautiful cd" was at. I don't know what that is, and I told her so. She said: "it has Sleeping Beauty on it!" "Oh, THAT cd!" Connection made, communication successful. This time. Thankfully, she's patient with me.

Isn't it great to know that as children of God, anything we say to Him is immediately understood? No need to clarify for Father God. He even understands how we feel when we don't entirely understand it ourselves. And I am always struck by the knowledge that the tremendous love that I have for each of my kids is only a drop in the bucket compared to the vast, immeasurable love that God has for each of us. Wow! Blessing overload :)

my daughter the songwriter

So yea... my 2 year old writes songs. She performs as well. Here are the lyrics to her latest masterpiece:

Ah beloop!
Ahh the mirror song the mirror song
Mirror song mirror song mirror song
More mirror song mirror mirror mirror
Mmm tummy tummy Emma tummy tummy
Tummy tummy tummy tummy
Sing!
Zip zap pelluh!
(short quiet scat interlude)
Ohh big one, big one puppy
These, ride me…. row
ALL ABOARD! I sail…. row
A big whale, a whale whale
Whale whale
Weh-luh weh-luh weh-luh weh-luh!
(whistle interlude)
Hmmm…. I’m surprised guys
Puppy puppy puppy puppy
Puppy puppy puppy pup-
Oh wow!
Now puppy puppy puppy puppy puppy puppy
Diaper change diaper change
Butt! (butty)
Butty BUTT!

She shows great poetic promise, doesn't she? If you would like to hear her perform her new hit single, here it is!!

from "firsts" to "lasts"

I put a very tired baby to bed tonight. She skipped her nap, in rebellion I think. You see, today was the first day that she had to keep her soother (soo-soo) in her bed. Her daddy and I have decided that she is at the age to be weaned from sucking on a soo-soo whenever she wants - so now it's just for naps and bedtime. She is not very happy about that. She made sure that I was aware of her irritation at naptime by refusing to face me while I rocked her in my lap. She wouldn't even let me sing her a lullaby. She was more forgiving this evening, though, due to her basic exhaustion. I was allowed to sing to her and to tickle her fingers while she drifted off to slumber. She very rarely falls asleep in my arms, so I cherish those moments by rocking her longer and staring at her closed eyes. A sleeping child is so peaceful.

It goes against my every instinct not to give in to her wants and whims. She would be intolerably spoiled if I did not exercise a great deal of discipline when she wants her way. I mean, how hard is it to resist a little girl who comes to you with a charming grin and says, "how 'bout....... snack?" I'm telling you, it's extremely difficult!! So when it comes to things like her soother, I have to remind myself that the day HAS to come eventually for her to not use it anymore, and it's better not to put it off for too long for the sake of her oral development. But I would love to just let her have it to her heart's content.

It kind of reminds me of a children's book I read recently that was all about a child's "lasts". Much has been written about a baby's "firsts", but very little attention is given to their "lasts". For example, I remember the first time I put Emma in her baby swing, but I certainly don't remember the last time. I remember the first time she wore her baby Converse shoes, but I don't recall the last time. Soon, she will wear her very last diaper - and I'm thinking we might have a party for that one, but am I even going to realize it when I carry her up the stairs for the very last time? It breaks my heart to think of it, but the day will come that I rock her in my lap at bedtime for the last time.

I paid close attention to some of her "lasts", though. She was 12 months old the very last time she slept in a playpen beside my bed - I cried myself to sleep that night. And I cried again the last time she nursed when she was 16 months old. She will have a last day of kindergarten someday - hopefully I'll get through that day without crying, but I doubt it. For now, I will attempt to help her prepare for the first "last" that she will most likely remember - the last time she gets her soo-soo. And I will be strong for her sake, in the face of her tears, and pray for God's help in facing a life filled with "lasts".

a haircut is serious business

Emma's hair has grown so long, but I have noticed that it comes in a bit crooked in the back. So when it was time for the older kids to get haircuts, I decided it was time for Emma to have a trim, too. She sat very calmly in the salon chair and did her best to follow directions like "put your chin down" and "keep your back straight" and "close your eyes while I cut your bangs". It is funny to see how solemn she is in situations that involve people she doesn't know.

Unless you know Emma, you would never guess that this uber-serious little girl is actually a completely silly little goofball most of the time!

"meer"

two months have passed since my last blog posting. that is a very long time in the life of a toddler. things change at an accelerated pace when you are two years old. new things are learned. new habits are formed. personality traits are developed. communication skills are honed. it is this aspect of toddlerhood that I will focus on today.

each and every day, emma develops her communication skills a little further. I love this process, and am grateful to be here to witness it. it is great fun to hear the trial and error process, as she attempts to assemble sounds and syllables into coherent words and phrases. she is great at making us giggle when she mispronounces words like "fox" and "shirt".

I hope that the Lord is able to giggle at us, as we fumble around down here on earth trying to figure things out. and I hope that He is making a list of our funniest mistakes, so that we can share a laugh with Him in eternity.

here are some of my favorite emma sayings:

"sat?" = what's that?

"sap? = can I sit on your lap?

"chup" = chip

"wearm" = wear them

"boowm" = spoon

"karm"= popcorn

"drawn?" = can I draw?

"sessue" = bless you

"lu loo!" = I love you!

and guess what this means:

i see
i hear
i feel
i pray
i wonder
i hope
i love
i thank

i see imaginary lines on the wall that show how
fast you are growing.
i hear the wheels of your brain spinning as you learn

more and more about the world around you.
i feel my heart skip beats as you become more
independent and adventurous.
i pray daily that i am being the mother that
God wants me to be for you.
i wonder what you will be like when
you grow up.
i hope that you find joy and happiness in a world that is so
full of despair and tragedy.
i love you more than i could ever express in
actions or words.
i thank God for giving you to me to
hold and cherish.